If it Wasn't for Joe Wicks...
“Hop on the scales Tina” said Dr Smith after taking my blood pressure and looking quizzically at the numbers. Horrified I stepped on, in my head screaming at myself for being whatever weight was about to flash up. I didn’t look at the numbers, I've not weighed myself for over 10 years! Feeling very anxious by the doctors reaction I asked sheepishly as I sat back down putting on my sweater “is everything ok?”
“Right Tina, your blood pressure is on the high side, you also needing to loose weight as your on the obese end of the scale, I'm concerned that if you catch Covid you would be more at risk of complications due to your weight and blood pressure. I’m going to arrange for fasting bloods to check for diabetes”
I sat there absolutely gobsmacked, never have I been told I had to loose weight in my life. I have also never had high blood pressure before, and have not once worried about being diabetic. Dr Smith clearly had no idea of my previous relationships with anorexia or he may have very well have sugar coated those stinging words before they left his mouth, however it felt like the ugly truth you never want to hear. I could feel my face turn puce with shame, my palms sweating and a wave of panic wash over my body about my impending death (when you live with anxiety that’s the go to thought process) how had I allowed myself to become a medical timebomb.
As the tears rolled down my face driving home I couldn’t help but hate myself. I thought I had left self loathing in the past, I had been so happy with myself for so long now and yet those words just destroyed all of my confidence. The pit of my stomach churned; the anger now started to rise inside of me. What have I done to myself…?
Who would have thought PE with Joe would be the moment my life changed? Not really knowing who he was I decided I was going to do one of his sessions live, it couldn’t be hard as its for all the family. It was so much fun, jumping around in my bedroom with him on the phone was fantastic, he was just what I needed to show me exercise didn’t have to be a chore or complex. Each day I would join his sessions and daily I felt stronger and fitter. After a couple of months I decided to take a leap of faith and try someone else for something more challenging, but I would always return to Joe for some fun workout sessions.
Many kilos lighter, blood pressure and bloods absolutely fine (GP is happy anyway), feeling stronger than ever I now know I’m well and truly over my eating disorder. I’ve found the sweet spot, I'm there and happy to stand on the scales with no shame at the doctors now. I attribute this to Joe Wicks and his making exercise fun and accessible.
#joewicks #selfacceptance #selfawareness #covid19 #PEwithjoe #secondstosnap #eatingdisorders #recovery #happiness