Three T's for a better tomorrow!
Retraining your brain - and self-awareness.
Please always seek medical advice from the experts in all situations as this is my opinion and no one else’s. Obviously not everyone will react in the same way – but it’s worth a try.
I used various techniques to help myself recover alongside all the help from the hospital and experts and this is what I have learned in a nutshell. This is also from listening to literally hundreds of hours of talks by doctors, psychologists, eating disorder experts, patients as well as listening to radio interviews and talking to people face to face.
I wanted to share this as I’m asked at least once a day if there is anything specifically I used to aid my recovery and return me with all my happiness and life sparkle.
The mind is very complex as is anorexia, addiction to the behaviour, obsession, depression, over exercising and anxiety. To me they were all part of the mental illness I had. I could not differentiate between them all as they were all driving me to the main goal – to be the best anorexic in the world.
Choice is something we can make each day and it’s controlled in our conscious mind which is 30% of the mind we use. It’s your subconscious mind that’s the other 70% and controls things you are not choosing like breathing, and habitual behaviours (paradigms) , driving home without even realising etc.
Humans are creatures of habits…we hear this all the time and it’s very true. Scientist say if you do something over 13 times it’s starting to become a habit.
For someone with any addiction or compulsion this is self-fulfilling and quickly becomes life effecting over months or years. Then the battle has to begin to undo all of those brain habits that are now in your subconscious mind.
If you have developed a disordered eating behaviour this has been hard programmed into the sub- conscious brain with huge regimented, complex rigour and painstaking precision. This would also have taken a very long time to develop and master.
Therefore the tenacity you need to switch it back is going to take the same amount of effort – just in the other direction. If you’re reading this and you’re in the grips of anorexia you will exactly know how much effort will be required.
But great news!!!! It can be done!!!! Make it happen!!!
You need to use these three T's to get started…
You need to trust your own original voice that tines in your head and is being held a prisoner in the mind (sometimes your don’t know you’re in prison until you become free). You can still hear that voice. Have trust that it’s the right one. Trust its need to be booming more than the new one. Trust your doctor, councillor, friend, family member. Whoever you trust – please let them help you and support you. You must know and believe they are helping you and only want what’s best for you. The enemy is the illness not them. Your illness is not your best friend. Also, trust someone that loves you. Your instinct is always right.
You need to be honest with yourself as deep down you know the truth and it is that you have a problem and a mental illness. You have to tell the truth to the people who love you and are helping you. I know this is incredibly hard as intrinsically you want to protect your illness with your life. However, if you're being honest you will know it has potential to end your life – not make it a great life.
This is the hardest thing you need. You need it in heaps and without the other T’s it all falls apart. It’s the triangle of recovery I like to call it as you too have them all in motion and work harder than you have ever worked to get there. It can be done – it will be done!!! You must never give up. Even when you want to cry and run back to it like a child to a loving mums protective arms - you can't. It's toxic and is not your friend. There is no protection in the illness. It will only steal your time, soul, identity and sparkle.
Practice makes perfect!
Do this little exercise every day for at least 28 days and you will start to see the difference.
Write down 3 positive things that have happened in your life each day. No matter how small they are.
Also each day spend at least 10 minutes either telling yourself out loud, emailing or writing down – I’m an amazing person, I can beat this, my life is worth so much more, I’m special and loved, I love my life. You can also do a dream board –or aspiration board. Put photos of everything you would love to have in your life in the next 5 years. It can be anything. It will give you a visual representation of goals you would like to achieve and aim for. Purpose in life is often an issue and this helps keep that in focus.
I hung on to a tiny bit of hope my Dr gave me and she was right – I did indeed get a life, friends, family and career. So it can be done.
You have to visualise happy and amazing feelings whilst you imagine those things.
It has to be done every day as instructed above.
Baby steps – it will not all happen overnight. You need to take your time and trust that everything will be ok if you start your recovery journey. One day at a time, or even one minute at a time. Whatever suits you! It’s taken you so long to develop this issue – so it will take the same time if not longer to get out. But never give up!!! Take back your life as it’s yours and no one else’s.
Trust your instincts – deep down you know the truth….
The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.